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The Sunday Pews

Church Announces New Primary Session of General Conference

SALT LAKE CITY - A spokesman from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today the addition of a new session of General Conference specific to Primary-aged children.

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BREAKING: BYU-Idaho Alters Honor Code, Now Bans “Clothing of Any Kind”

REXBURG, Idaho—In a stunning announcement from BYU-I administration, the university's controversial Honor Code now bans students from wearing "clothing of any kind" on campus.

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7 Devastating Addictions Latter-day Saints Need to Watch Out For

These have really been chaffing my wheat lately.

A Mormon’s Guide to Coffee Beverage Terms

Lattes, mochas, cappuccinos—the list goes on and on. Here's a Mormon's guide to coffee beverage terms.

Dad, Kids Honor Mother’s Day With Annual Dish Washing

BOUNTIFUL, Utah—Mother's Day, 2017. It's the day the McGuires do something a little out of the ordinary for their mother—the dishes.

BREAKING: Church Drops Scouting Program, Moms Everywhere “Unsure of What to Nag Sons About Now”

SALT LAKE CITY —  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is breaking ties with the Boy Scouts program and mothers everywhere are asking, "what will I nag my sons about now?" The Church made the announcement Thursday morning, saying the... Continue Reading →

Sac. Mtg. Speaker Tests Bishop’s Patience With Slew of Alternative Swear Words

PRESTON, Idaho — "I read the fetchin' Book of Mormon, and dang it all to heck, it's freakin' true."

Local Youth Annihilates Candy Crush Record During Stake Dance

UMATILLA, Ore. - Newly ordained Priest Timothy Sterling, or as his fellow quorum members refer to him, "The GOAT", totally smashed his Candy Crush record during Saturday night's stake dance, sources say.

POLL: Does This Beard-Growing Newly-Released Bishop Still Have a Testimony?

KENNEWICK, Wa. - Newly-released Bishop Garth Shumway of Kennewick Central Ward is growing a beard, sources say.

Parents Accused of Quickly Writing Forgetful Son’s Talk Early Sunday Morning

SCRANTON, Penn. - A local emeritus deacon's quorum president is accused of having forgotten his assignment to speak in church today, allegedly resulting in a quickly written talk by one of his parents this morning, sources say.

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