REXBURG, Idaho – During the monthly Sunday School lesson on dating, recently engaged young single adults Jeremiah Hull and Esther Brady simply dominated the discussion.
Jeremiah, 21 years old, and Esther, 20, or as their peers refer to them behind their backs, Esthermiah, have been engaged for three weeks now. According to sources their “nauseating condescension” has reached an all time high.
“We’re getting married,” Esthermiah said in a recent interview, arms around each other, “We know how it works. We just want everyone to be as happy as we are. We’re getting married.”
“It’s miserable,” said ward member and recently-completely-forgotten-friend to Esthermiah, Gary Buhler, 27, “They don’t even refer to each other by their names anymore. Even from the pulpit they go on about how grateful they are for their ‘snugglebumpkin’. To be completely honest, it’s making me question my testimony.”
Buhler isn’t the only friend having trouble with the public relationship. “I can’t be sure, but after class started I swear I saw Esther trying to bounce the light off of her engagement ring into my face,” recently-completely-forgotten-friend Sarah Harrison said.
Esthermiah Engagement Photos (Story continues below)
The Sunday meeting was lead by the bishopric, whose goal was to encourage members to interact more with the opposite gender. When asking members what they look for in a potential spouse, Esthermiah immediately sprung from their seats.
“I remember what it was like to be single. I was once just like you,” Esther said, making eye contact with no one but Jeremiah and her Countdown-To-Marriage timer on her phone, “and I will truly miss you all once we’ve passed on. But I just know there’s someone out there for you too. Don’t lose hope. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen. And when you know, you just know.”
Sources say Jeremiah then escorted Esther out of the building and together they ascended into the sky.
If you wish to stay updated on their relationship, any number of joint social media accounts are now available.