Church Meetings LDS Pews

Aspiring Singer Uses Megaphone During Hymns, Just in Case You Couldn’t Hear Her Before

PORTLAND, Ore - Members of the Sandbutte Ward are still singing praises to one sister who, to everyone's utter enjoyment, officially sings louder than the rest of the congregation combined.

 

PORTLAND, Ore. – Members of the Sandbutte Ward are still singing praises to one sister who, to everyone’s utter enjoyment, officially sings louder than the rest of the congregation combined.

34-year-old Shania Teresa III spent two years of high school dedicated to the school’s Chamber Choir program. “I sang a few solos. After one concert somebody threw some fruit to me on stage,” she said, “so yeah, I guess you could say I can sing.”

Shania hopes to one day strike a record deal, but for now she’s looking to start out small.

“I figured I’ve got to start somewhere, so I brought a megaphone to church with me for the hymns,” she said.

Members say they are usually graced every week by Shania’s unusually powerful voice, but this week many were brought to tears during her rendition of High on the Mountain Top (hymn #5).

“It’s something you can count on every week. She will be there. She will do her vocal warm-ups in the foyer. She will sing louder than you,” one member said. “It’s relaxing. You can’t even hear yourself think.”

But not everyone is a fan. Jordan Tell is new to the ward and feels like Shania might be singing to a slightly different tune.

“I’m just confused,” he said. “Is she trying to encourage the rest of us to sing louder? Sometime I try to sing as loud as she does and I literally hear her get even louder just to overpower me.”

“Jordan doesn’t know anything,” SandButte Ward Bishop Ray Stevens said, “We’re lucky to have Shania; and she’s just so humble about it, too.”

Bishop Stevens recalled that by the last verse of the closing hymn, Rejoice! A Glorious Sound Is Heard (257), Shania had made her way to the organist’s side, where she belted out the last few words with a Christina Aguilarian twist.

After the hymn ended, allegedly feeling “moved upon” to act, Bishop Stevens left a bouquet at her feet and offered her his seat on the stand.

Advertisements

4 comments on “Aspiring Singer Uses Megaphone During Hymns, Just in Case You Couldn’t Hear Her Before

  1. Whatever happened to “handing the Sacrament Meeting back to the Saviour?” Surely we come to Church to sing His praises, not our own.

    Like

  2. This website is supposed to be satire news. It is meant to be funny, not factual.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I am feeling especially in tune (no pun intended), with each verse I will sing a different part just hoping the talent scouts will notice my versatility. You should hear my tenor!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. To Sam, Me, too. I am a soprano but usually I can do the bass.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: