CEDAR CITY, Utah – In a stunning gesture of compassionate service, Sister Heather Loveli prepared and distributed whole roast turkeys to each student in her Relief Society class on Sunday.
Loveli says she personally stuffed each turkey with a spiritual thought that summarized that week’s lesson. “Each and every sister in my ward is a precious gem,” she said. “This week I felt moved upon to do something more than my usual cupcakes and personalized bookmarks.”
Gasps were audible when Sister Loveli pulled a large rucksack full of turkeys out from behind the piano. While Loveli taught, the women ate. Soon they each began to discover the hidden message within the chest cavity of each turkey. “You are loved (John 13:34)”.
“I ate the entire turkey,” Sister Sara Hough confessed, “which was unfortunate because my fiance and I had planned to take engagement photos immediately after church.”
Members say they have seen nothing like it. Loveli reports that comments like “Loved your lesson,” “Send me that recipe” and “I really needed this today” flooded her phone for hours after Sunday meetings had concluded.
But some members have a bone to pick with Sister Loveli. Backlash from the remaining Relief Society teachers has been heavy.
“How am I supposed to follow an act like that next week? It can’t be done,” teacher Joyce Hess said, “unless I book a venue now…”
A Sunday Pews representative spoke briefly with Bishop Harry Dermitt about the feast, but was only able to get one comment: “It’s Fast Sunday.”
UPDATE: We have received reports that several class members are hospitalized with E-Coli. Loveli has not been available for comment, but her husband, Jerry, is quoted as follows: “Yeah real sorry about that. She had to start cooking on Monday and ran out of room for the turkeys in the fridge by Tuesday afternoon. I thought they’d be fine in the garage.”