LDS Pews Top Stories Young Women

Area Sister Fakes Death After Devastating Calling to be Girl’s Camp Director

BOISE, Idaho - After a comprehensive search of the greater Boise area that began almost two weeks ago, authorities say they have found 32-year-old Sister Rebecca Todd alive and well in an abandoned potato field.

 

BOISE, Idaho – After a comprehensive search of the greater Boise area that began almost two weeks ago, authorities say they have found 32-year-old Sister Rebecca Todd alive and well in an abandoned potato field.

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Police say Sister Todd had been living in this rudimentary shelter next to the potato field where she was found.

Rebecca claims her new calling as Girl’s Camp Director was the driving force behind her behavior.

“I just felt trapped,” she said in a recent interview. “I was going to come back eventually, but until Camp was over people needed to believe I was dead.”

Rebecca’s husband, Jeremy, reported her missing on January 28th. “I woke up and found a trail of blood from our bedroom all the way to a mound of dirt at the cemetery,” he said. “I prepared myself for the worst.”

Authorities say the blood turned out to be Maraschino cherry syrup. They exhumed the grave, but found it empty. Jeremy says he became suspicious when he realized his wife’s disappearance occurred the day after their local bishop had asked her to accept a calling as Girl’s Camp Director.

Jeremy says his wife spent the evening before her disappearance in the fetal position, terrified at the prospect of planning, organizing and attending a week-long camp with more than one hundred adolescent young women.

“I tried to reassure her. I told her that if she could just survive until the testimony meeting at the end of the week it would all be worth it,” Jeremy says. “She told me to stop trying to ‘fix it’. She can be a bit dramatic.”

From a historic perspective, sisters from the Glennside 4th Ward say dramatic may be the most appropriate reaction.

According to the Ward Relief Society President, in 2014 Camp Director Agatha Sheen returned home after the event covered in mud and speaking in tongues.

In 2015, Director Theresa Gillman returned home four days early and still suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

In 2016, Director Stephanie Farr was immediately admitted into a psychiatric clinic the day after Girl’s Camp ended.

Gary Fielding serves as the Ward Bishop. In an interview we asked if he planned to extend the call to someone other than Sister Todd, considering the circumstances.

“She’ll be fine,” he said.

 

 

[In case you haven’t picked it up yet, this is a satirical article and is not true.]

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79 comments on “Area Sister Fakes Death After Devastating Calling to be Girl’s Camp Director

  1. Shannon, it’s just a joke. Satire. It’s FUNNY. NOT true.

    Like

  2. Sounds like she’s got some mental disability.

    She could’ve just denied the position instead of thinking she has to do it. Hell I’ve gotten callings I’ve turned down.

    Blood is darker then marischino syrup.. so dumb.

    Like

    • Dear CJ,

      It may comfort you to know that all articles on this site are satirical and simply for your enjoyment. But if I ever fake my death I’ll be sure to use something darker than marischino cherry juice. Have an incredible day!

      Cheers,
      TSP Admin

      Liked by 2 people

  3. LOL – Why didn’t I think of faking my death when they called me to be in the nursery?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Can I trade you for your nursery job?

      Like

    • I loved the nursery–food, toys, and the lessons are 5 minutes long. Also, toddlers are my favorite people in the church, especially since I don’t have any anymore.

      Like

  4. THIS IS SATIRE! IT IS NOT TRUE – Like the Onion……

    Like

  5. What in the name of God is going on at the “Girl’s Camp”? If women are returning covered in mud & speaking in tongues; with PTSD & being admitted to psychiatric units, it sounds as though they need to be investigated and closed down. If Rebecca’s husband Jeremy is calling her “dramatic” for being this terrified, he is NOT a husband; he’s an abuser. Gary Fielding, if you are reading this: you are a compassionless, sadistic, despicable human being. Nothing close to Godliness in this story; just insanity and brutality. WOW…Jim jones and Jonestown have next to nothing on you people!

    Like

    • Dear Tina,

      It will comfort you to know that all articles on this site are satirical. Be at peace. I only pray that some poor chap who happens to be named Gary Fielding doesn’t stumble upon your comment.

      Have a great day!

      TSP Admin

      Liked by 3 people

  6. I was going to say…sounds like expectations are a little to high….maybe they need to bring it down a few notches. Made me feel a little better to know this is a satirical site!!! Some calling can drive you a little luney! Camp director is definitely one!!!!

    Like

  7. Although they do ask, it’s rare for a “good standing” Member to say NO. “God never asks you to do more than you are capable.” “You’ll grow spiritually” Not easy to turn down. It’s a social stigma. God bless them. My question is What kind of girls are these that they are so terrible as to cause these leader this kind of treatment that they come back psychologically damaged? These woman aren’t getting enough help and it doesn’t sound like they have enough leader/adults per girl ratio. The other problem is the men in this. Her husband says she can be “a bit dramatic” and the bishop said “She’d be fine”. I was Girls’ Wilderness Camp Director 3 years. If I had the experience the first year I had the last, I probably wouldn’t have Directed the camp a second time. The girls get away from there parents and they don’t think they have to listen. I my case my daughter and the other leaders daughter were out to embarrass us both. The mom stood up for each other and the girls gave in. Also. You should always have some Elders present at all times. Elders that have a backbone and some compassion. Unlike Bishop Gary Fielding and husband Jeremy Todd, shame on you both.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in months. Thanks for the laughs!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Oh my gosh. The only thing funnier than the article (which, by the way, is hilarious) are the comments from people who want SO BADLY to believe it!!! 😀 Explains a LOT about why so many are OUTRAGED by the shiz-nit on Trump. (Insert The Eagles’ “Dirty Laundry” here.) LOLOL

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is hilarious! Making sure my friend sees this who is in her 60’s and called as camp director! Totally bewildered by those who didn’t recognize the satire. Thanks for the giggles!

    Liked by 4 people

  11. meckmomblog

    Your admin responses are almost as entertaining as the article itself. As a former camp director, I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

    Liked by 5 people

  12. Ohmygoodness, this would be me… I found myself feeling faint and shaking for nearly an hour after being asked to substitute teach a naughty CTR class. The dear Primary President sensed my fear, and asked someone else… thank goodness. I couldn’t figure what was wrong with me. Age? I have served al least 6 years as a Primary President and at least four more as a counselor, secretary and a couple more as Music chorister in Primary. But this floored me… so girls came would maybe actually kill me…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Robin Kraucyk

    I so enjoyed this and had a good laugh! Having had that position . . . I can relate! Thanks for seeing the humorous side of Church callings!

    Liked by 4 people

  14. Btw, one of my favourite callings EVER was girl’s camp director…but this was funny. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I am a Stake Young Women President who works closely with our Camp Director. I was venting to my husband about how much time I had spent just trying to convert our “Camp Registration Packet” from several pages of forms that needed to be collected from the Young Women all around our stake – to an online registration process. His response (he’s the Scout Master)- “How can you possibly spend that much time on Camp stuff?” I just read this reticle to him out loud and said “See, I wasn’t exaggerating!”

    Liked by 4 people

    • I know! My husband has been a scoutmaster forever, but when they go to scout camp, it is a Boy Scout council-run operation, with established camps and all that stuff is taken care of for them. And then the difference between girls and boys… I love girl’s camp!! But not the same as boy scout camp, for sure.

      Like

      • I’ve been scoutmaster for years. My wife has been a girls camp leader several times. I never go to council camps, we always do our own thing. I usually start “planning” about 2 weeks before we leave. That means 2 weeks before we leave I write a grocery list with the boys. Girls camp and Scout camp are definitely different animals and girls camp is definitely more spiritual but I still can’t wrap my head around a year of planning for 1 week of camp.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. I just found your “newspaper” after a friend sent me this story! As a ward and stake young women’s leader for the past 7 years and official girls camp nurse, I completely get it! And , yes, the testimony meeting makes it all OK! I love those girls. Thanks for your wonderfully funny approach to living in our own peculiar way! Keep the articles coming and hey, folks! Relax and enjoy good satire! Life is short….laugh!

    Liked by 4 people

  17. God Bless her and lets not judge her. My heart is broke that she felt so trapped.

    Like

    • My dearest Sally,

      Compassionate, beautiful Sally.
      You’ll be relieved to hear that everything on this website is satirical and completely made up.
      But thanks for not ripping on Gary and the bishop. They’ve had a rough day in the comments section.

      Have a lovely evening, Sally Miller
      TSP Admin

      (Also – Gary and the bishop aren’t real either.)

      Liked by 2 people

  18. Char Hirschi

    Fell for it until I got to the mound/empty grave part. But laughed my head off for at least 10 minutes after realizing it’s a joke. First, but definitely not last time on your site. Still giggling.

    Liked by 3 people

  19. I once faked an arrest to try to get out of a calling. Bishop didn’t fall for it and l served for several more years. Should’ve tried building a shelter in an abandoned potato field, that is sheer brilliance.

    Like

  20. Been there! Done that! No sleep for a week. Worse yet no shower for a week. I don’t know how girl’s camps are out West, but here in the East they can be ROUGH and far from civilization. I had a major meltdown and put the Stake President’s daughter on the ground and covered her with shaving cream after she “creamed” everybody in the camp. My best memory is of the drive home while the girls with me hung their smelly, unwashed feet over the carseat inches from my nose. It was okay, a bit like being anesthetized for surgery. I think the aroma messed with my head though because I still think that was one of the most spiritual weeks of my life. It also made me realize how much I loved my husband after he let me sleep for two barely interrupted days when I wandered in our back door in a daze.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. People who failed to detect the sarcasm in this wonderfully written satire piece I’m guessing are chronically offended. Try smiling today? Watch some comedy shows? How about studying forms of satire? Good luck!

    Like

  22. I loved the admin responses as much as this hilarious story! I love some people’s imaginations! Thank you for the good laugh and great idea! 😉 jk to all of the serious Sally’s out there, I would never fake my death, I’m not afraid to say no, but just as much, I’m not afraid of a camp full of teenage girls neither. 😅 Learn to laugh a little and let your hair down! Peace….

    Liked by 3 people

  23. This is great! I was laughing the whole way through. Girls camp can be a beast 😂!!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Richard Crawford

    Hilarious. Glad I found your site (My Bishop showed it to me). I have done the Priesthood Thing a few times. My daughter was Camp Director for several years in Northern Utah, Southern Idaho, and Australia (During our Summer – Winter there). She loved every bit of it.
    Thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Stephanie

    This was absolutely perfect! I guess only those that have served as camp director or even in the Young Women’s Presidency would fully appreciate this article!

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Michelle

    Was saying no to the calling not an option? It makes me sad that she felt so stressed out to take that on mental issues or not! Just say no!

    Like

  27. Having been a Girl’s Camp Director before, I got the satire instantly. Too funny. And — wow — some of those comments! Guess they have never been to Girl’s Camp! Best times ever!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. This is soooooo funny however, if you think Girls camp director terrifies you try the Relief Society.

    Like

  29. Loved it! Although I have been Camp Director and thought it was the best thing ever.

    Like

  30. Sad story, too bad she felt like she had to hide from the calling. People should realize that the Lord doesn’t call those he doesn’t prepare… back home in Udaho I raise cows, and just like Elder Mckonkie always said the lord prunes the current bush into a grapevine.

    Like

    • Dear GV,

      We’ve got good news and more good news. The good news is that you’re right – the Lord blesses people when it comes to fulfilling their callings, and the grapevine analogy is timeless.

      The other good news is that this website is satirical and this story is completely made up.

      TSP Admin

      Liked by 2 people

  31. This was a good laugh! I can totally relate! Being a stake camp director was the hardest, most aggravating calling I’ve ever had (not because of the young women though), but it was also the most joyful and fulfilling! Admittedly, getting into a car “accident” crossed my mind more than once in the months leading up to camp… 😳 It was all worth it in the end! I love girls camp!

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Marlene Teter

    Poor thing. Next time you fake your death go to a spa. You are better than a potatoe field!

    Like

    • *Squinting*
      *The Admin sits, pondering whether or not Marlene knows that all posts on this website are satirical. Should The Admin respond? Should The Admin give Marlene the benefit of the doubt? The Admin decides to write a snarky comment of the mental debacle and then posts it, leaving the fates to decide.*

      TSP Admin

      Liked by 1 person

  33. This is hysterical, I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Having been a Young Women’s president, ward camp director AND stake camp director, I loved this “fake news”, and if you loved it too, I totally recommend “Once I Was a Beehive”. Favorite. Movie. Ever! Girls Camp is the hardest week you’ll ever love. Well done, TSP, well done…

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Kaitlynn

    I seriously tried breaking my wrist to get out of going to camp as a girl and I truly hope I will never be called to young Womens in a position to go to camp. I’d probably just get pregnant and be due around camp time! Haha!

    Like

  36. I loved the newly camp leader hiding after receiving the called !!
    Although I have met leaders that responded the same way. Ha Ha Ha
    I loved Girls Camp growing up, and loved it more as a leader. As Stake G. Camp Director I was thrilled with the challenge. Love the girls & love the ward leaders. Although many leaders Hated camping , they faithfully brought their girls , enjoyed the time together & watched the girls bond & learn outdoor skills. (Which are helpful in emergencies :). Great Program & Painless!!

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Connie Atkinson

    I have also served as a girls camp leader and director on many occasions….wish I would have thought about hiding in a potatoe field. Cute story.. made me laugh. Thanks for posting that. We just sometimes need to laugh at ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. I’ve been a stake leader at camp for more years than I can count, and this is hilarious. It makes me sad (and slightly incredulous) that anyone would actually think this was real. Although we’re talking about holding a hairy legs contest this year, so who knows? Maybe the trauma will send people to this level after all.

    Like

  39. Just came across this article. So funny! (She’s only going to be gone until after girls camp is over!). Thanks for the good laugh.

    Like

  40. I’m thinking if she can build a “rudimentary shelter” such as the likes of this….THEY CALLED THE RIGHT PERSON!! And as we say in our ward…BUCK UP LITTLE CAMPER!! ;);)

    Signed, Never a Dull Moment in Young Women;)

    Like

  41. Oh my stars! Good thing i went potty just before i stumbled onto this story! I laughed so hard!!! While girls camp can be an amazing journey, it’s nice to have fun along the way. I still fondly remember my leaders sewing closed the neck and sleeve openings on our jammies…it was a little frightening but so funny. We did return the favor by stacking firewood against their cabin door…those were the days!

    Like

  42. Rebecca Salib

    LOL this is great!!!!!!

    Like

  43. Best line of the whole story:

    “She told me to stop trying to ‘fix it’”.

    Like

  44. Luv luv lived the story! It had me laughing.
    I went my 4 years to GIRLS CAMP…
    I went with my oldest daughter for her 4 years as a Cabin leader.
    I went 3 years with my youngest daughter as a Cabin leader.
    I am 63 with 11 years experience. I would not trade it for anything accept maybe a new body that wasn’t tick and mosquito bitten…JK
    I will never forget taking my new cabin of GIRLS for a walk down to the river at O’leno State Park to a floating dock, and showing them where they would swim. As we all stood on the dock..one of my GIRLS screamed…all 7 GIRLS took of running…I turn around and see the biggest water moccasin wrapped around the docks railing drop off and splash into the water…can you guess what I did??? Yes..I ran behind them but beat them, by arriving first back to the cabin…lol
    I absolutely LOVE GIRLS CAMP…
    I could tell you more..but will let you go and see for yourself….It’s worth every minute of the 5 days…hehehe

    Liked by 1 person

  45. I loved the humor.

    It is also an interesting look at another aspect of our subculture. As Mormons we tend to view things we hear or read as literal rather than allegorical or satirical as in this case.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Ha ha ha! I’m dying that people are getting upset with this and taking it seriously!!! Ha ha ha ! That is pretty entertaining right there! It’s supposed to be an article to make us all laugh!! People need to have a sense of humor and stop being so hateful and negative. My goodness!!! Ha ha ha!!! Still laughing!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Reminds me of the time Bishop Brown asked me to be the Priesthood presence for a few days at Girls Camp. Dinner was great, but leaders were perplexed why the girl’s hardly ate. Same with breakfast. Mid morning I watched as the leaders filled a wheelbarrow with snacks from a Mavericks (No mega sodas thank goodness). One brave leader quietly pushed the sacrifice to the middle of the ward camp spot then ran for her life. Have you seen a school of piranha or a swarm of killer bees in action? That day I did…twice…because after a yummy lunch that was barely touched by the girl’s, the same ritual was performed mid afternoon. It wasn’t til after the steak dinner that I asked the leaders if the wheelbarrow may be connected to the mystery? (Those 3 stakes errrrr steaks, 2 spuds, 12 corn on the cob and an entire Dutch oven cobbler were almost more than 1 man could eat…key word being ….almost…)

    Like

  48. That’s too funny!! I started out reading, knowing it was fake, but started believing because it was so well written. And then laughed hysterically when they exhumed the body!! That’s a good one!

    Girls camp is a lot of work but sooo worth it! My most favorite calling!!!

    Like

  49. Gullible me. At first I thought it was real. Till I got to the part about following the blood trail to the cemetery. Unless they lived next door to a cemetery, that sounded pretty weird. She’d have bled to death if it was very far and they would have found her much sooner! Anyway, thanks for a hilarious post! Keep ’em comin’! I’d share this on facebook but I have some non-member friends and family who might get the wrong idea about how the Church works! We DO have a choice!

    Like

  50. Tania Hansen

    Too funny!! I’m in a YW Stake Presidency in Boise right now and if your Ward has 100 girls in it you need to be a Stake!

    If this story really had occurred in Boise it would not likely have been in a potato field as they don’t grow well on this side of the state, but rather an onion field, situated near an onion barn filled rotting onions because of Snowpocolypse, the smell of which certainly would have driven her home.

    Good job SPEW! Another chuckler with a side of dark.

    Liked by 1 person

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