NASHVILLE, Tenn. – An area woman is rumored to have been translated Sunday 19th February after a series of viral tweets report she simply disappeared from the pulpit during a record-breaking 37-minute-long-and-still-going prayer.
Bobby Crane, a generally irreverent youth, decided to live Tweet his thoughts during the egregiously lengthy prayer. See the story unfold below:
While members report a brief search for Sister Beatrice Jones did occur, most members were seen to have quickly but reverently exited the chapel in an effort to get a few minutes of Sunday School in before the next block of classes.
CORRECTION: Since the publication of this article Sister Jones has been found, mortal. It appears she was standing with her knees locked and passed out mid-prayer due to lack of blood flow. Evidence seems to suggest she fell forward over the pulpit and came to rest under the empty front pew, hidden from view. The Sunday Pews apologizes for any rumors this article may have perpetuated. We assure you that our staff does everything in their power to bring you 100% accurate news from the pews.