SAN FRANCISCO – Sisters Beth Holladay and Karen Harvey were released from the callings as Relief Society instructors in the Redwood 5th Ward on Sunday after members say classroom tabletop centerpieces went “a bit over the top”.

Jenny Harmon, the Relief Society Secretary, magnifies her calling by keeping the minutes during meetings. What follows are excerpts from her notes, used with permission:

  • Jan. 1, 2017: Sister Holladay uses modest fruit basket as centerpiece. Compliments lesson on Word of Wisdom nicely.
  • Jan. 8, 2017: Sister Harvey brings a picturesque cornucopia as her centerpiece. Disapproving looks from Sis. Holladay.
  • Jan. 15, 2017: Sister Holladay has created a papier mache Liahona to adorn her table today. Craftsmanship… fair.
  • Jan. 22, 2017: Christmas Eve. Sister Harvey has screwed her table upside down into the ceiling. Turns lights off for lesson. Table covered with glow-in-the-dark stars! Emotional sniffles heard throughout classroom.
  • Jan. 29, 2017: Sister Holladay places veiled object on table. Soft scratches heard. Removes veil to reveal a puppy. “Awws” echo in the halls. Sister Harvey throws devious smiles.
  • Feb. 5, 2017: Sister Harvey places veiled object on table. Soft scratches heard. Removes veil to reveal husband, Bro. Harvey. He hugs knees quietly on table for duration of lesson on eternal marriage.
  • Feb 12, 2017: Sister Holladay manages to balance massive Rube Goldberg machine on table. Majestic. Testimony increased.
  • Feb 19, 2017: Sister Harvey hires aerialist to perform above table.
  • Feb 26, 2017: Sister Holladay lights category three display fireworks on table. Building in flames. Fire dept. en route.

UPDATE: Both parties involved in the incident have issued formal apologies to members of the Redwood 5th Ward in the form of short, repentant messages printed onto novelty matchboxes, which were given to each member.