Editor's Pick LDS Pews Relief Society Top Stories

Relief Society Instructor Centerpiece Feud Escalates, Meetinghouse Ignites

SAN FRANCISCO - Sisters Beth Holladay and Karen Harvey were released from the callings as Relief Society instructors after ...

SAN FRANCISCO – Sisters Beth Holladay and Karen Harvey were released from the callings as Relief Society instructors in the Redwood 5th Ward on Sunday after members say classroom tabletop centerpieces went “a bit over the top”.

Jenny Harmon, the Relief Society Secretary, magnifies her calling by keeping the minutes during meetings. What follows are excerpts from her notes, used with permission:

  • Jan. 1, 2017: Sister Holladay uses modest fruit basket as centerpiece. Compliments lesson on Word of Wisdom nicely.
  • Jan. 8, 2017: Sister Harvey brings a picturesque cornucopia as her centerpiece. Disapproving looks from Sis. Holladay.
  • Jan. 15, 2017: Sister Holladay has created a papier mache Liahona to adorn her table today. Craftsmanship… fair.
  • Jan. 22, 2017: Christmas Eve. Sister Harvey has screwed her table upside down into the ceiling. Turns lights off for lesson. Table covered with glow-in-the-dark stars! Emotional sniffles heard throughout classroom.
  • Jan. 29, 2017: Sister Holladay places veiled object on table. Soft scratches heard. Removes veil to reveal a puppy. “Awws” echo in the halls. Sister Harvey throws devious smiles.
  • Feb. 5, 2017: Sister Harvey places veiled object on table. Soft scratches heard. Removes veil to reveal husband, Bro. Harvey. He hugs knees quietly on table for duration of lesson on eternal marriage.
  • Feb 12, 2017: Sister Holladay manages to balance massive Rube Goldberg machine on table. Majestic. Testimony increased.
  • Feb 19, 2017: Sister Harvey hires aerialist to perform above table.
  • Feb 26, 2017: Sister Holladay lights category three display fireworks on table. Building in flames. Fire dept. en route.

UPDATE: Both parties involved in the incident have issued formal apologies to members of the Redwood 5th Ward in the form of short, repentant messages printed onto novelty matchboxes, which were given to each member.

 

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7 comments on “Relief Society Instructor Centerpiece Feud Escalates, Meetinghouse Ignites

  1. Brian Smith

    So glad I’m in the HP group where our biggest worry is staying awake through the lesson

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anna Denise Davis

    I figure you will write about the resin grapes that were on everyone’s coffee table in the 1960’s and how the kids wanted to break them off and pitch them for years. I love your stories – from an old camp leader!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kellie Wheeler

    I was reading this in the night while feeding the baby and had to stop to catch my breath before I woke up husband and baby! Hilarious and not too far from the truth! Thanks for the good laugh 😀

    Like

  4. I love those Mormon Pews Professor. Keep them coming

    Like

  5. Pingback: Missionaries Find Isolated All-Male Tribe of Chair-Stacking Enthusiasts, Baptisms Skyrocket – The Sunday Pews

  6. Yes, I want one about the grapes. Also the broken glass pieces that became sun catchers in the windows

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: 7 Devastating Addictions Latter-day Saints Need to Watch Out For – The Sunday Pews

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