OMAHA, Neb – After years of blood, sweat and knots, 46-year-old Dana Peters has finally earned her 17¾-year-old son’s Eagle Scout award.
“It’s been a long and difficult journey,” Peters said at her son’s Eagle Court of Honor. “There were moments when I just didn’t know if I was up to the task, but [my son] Justin’s lack of motivation and desire to progress really kept me going. And now I can’t believe it’s over.”
As made evident by Dana’s tearful speech, earning the rank of Eagle Scout is knot easy. According to the Boy Scouts of America, requirements include:
- Being an active troop member for 6 months as a Life Scout.
- Earning 21 merit badges.
- Planning and effectuating an Eagle Project (community service project).
Dana has ticked all of the boxes. “Most of the merit badges were a cinch. Family Life, First Aid and Cooking all came pretty naturally. The Eagle Project stretched me to my limits, though,” she said.
Sources report that Dana’s Eagle Project for her son was aimed at removing garbage from a local nature trail – a project her son said was “easy enough”. Dana soon discovered that the trail had recently been the subject of another mother’s Eagle Project and was, in fact, already clean.
“I had already filled out the paperwork and gotten the project approved,” she said, “so on the morning of the project I just had to go back to the trail, throw a bunch of trash all over the place and transplant a few weeds so Justin would have something to pick up.”
Dana Peters currently resides at her home in Omaha with her husband and three other sons who have also shown an unprecedented lack of motivation to progress through the Scouting program.
This article is satire, but for more real information on BSA and why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourages young men to participate in it, click here.