By Tarron Lane
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seem to have a special affinity for feasting. Indeed, Mormons and refreshments go together like fingers and nostrils.
Interestingly enough, modern research suggests that an over-abundance of snacks and treats might be distracting some members from the subtler spiritual nourishment offered at church meetings. Here are 15 ways for you to determine if your appetite might be overshadowing the more spiritual motivations for participation in Church activities:
1. You lick your plate clean so you can get seconds without anyone realizing you already had firsts.
2. The only reason you want to be a mother is so you can get those treats the Deacons give out after sacrament meeting on Mother’s Day.
3. You couldn’t focus on General Conference because you were too focused on how many cinnamon rolls you could get away with eating between sessions without attracting too much attention.
4. You frequently sneak into a different Sunday School class because you hear the teacher brought a treat.
5. You show up to meetings that you weren’t invited to, because you were tipped off that there would be food.
6. “Will there be food?” is the only questions you have when an activity is announced.
7. You always sit closest to where the beginning of the line will start.
8. You spent the youth dances always within a few feet of the platter of pizza bagels on the refreshments table.
9. You have to deal with the Teachers quorum to let you “take care of” the unused sacrament bread after sacrament meeting.
10. Your tears during fast and testimony meeting are for the treats that you won’t be getting in Sunday School, because everyone will be fasting.
11. During sacrament meeting you always sit behind that family that brings Cheerios for their kids so you can embezzle them when no one is watching.
12. Between church meetings, you always pick the route to the next class that takes you past the kitchen just in case anything needs eating.
13. You stick around until the after-meeting cleanup so that you can offer to help the meeting organizers by taking home the extra box of donuts or extra jug of chocolate milk.
14. The second plate you filled with goodies isn’t actually for your mother back at the table.
15. When your home teachers ask if there is anything they can do for you, the first thing that comes to mind is to ask them to bring cookies next time.
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.