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Watching the Super Bowl on a Sunday? Local Brother Pretends to Wrestle Over “Tough” Decision

"Let's be honest, we're all watching."

BRIGHAM CITY, Utah—Like any faithful Mormon, area brother Jason Harding attended his ward this morning. He sang the hymns, sat in quiet reverence and, when the bishop made his passive aggressive plug warning against watching the Super Bowl on a Sunday, Harding even pretended to listen.

“The bishop had some interesting points,” Harding said, “but let’s be honest, not watching the game has never really been an option.”

A recent poll shows that Harding isn’t alone in his decision. More than 78 percent of Mormons in the United States say they plan on watching the Super Bowl live on television.

Of 42,690 participants, 68 percent say watching the Super Bowl probably isn’t the best Sunday activity, “but heck, it’s the Super Bowl.”

That said, many members employ a variety of strategies to buffer the questionable Sunday activity. “Yes, we watch the Super Bowl, but we play MOTAB in the background,” one anonymous member said.

“In our family we try to find gospel principles within each play,” another member said.

“I take the Super Bowl as an opportunity to teach my young children about patience, composure and how to use use their inside voices,” one sister said. “I basically just tell them not to behave like their father.”

Many members say it’s not about football at all. “The Super Bowl doesn’t really count as ‘watching sports on Sunday’ because we’re really just there for the commercials,” one member said. “Nothing wrong with an occasional puppymonkeybaby.”

“Of course whether or not to watch the Super Bowl on Sunday is a personal decision,” Harding said. “The real concern for me is the halftime show. We all remember what happened last time brother Timberlake performed.”

 


This article is purely satirical. That said, making decisions about what is/isn’t appropriate to do on the Sabbath can be tough (like whether or not to watch the Super Bowl)! Here’s something that might help you out: Making a Sabbath Day Plan.

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The Church is true. The doctrines are true. The Book of Mormon is what Joseph Smith said it is. That being said, we Mormons can be pretty goofy sometimes. The Sunday Pews aims to poke fun at the human quirks specific to our subculture, not the sacred doctrines we hold so dear. All articles are satirical in nature.

1 comment on “Watching the Super Bowl on a Sunday? Local Brother Pretends to Wrestle Over “Tough” Decision

  1. Oh no, guys. This is SO funny. Seriously hahahahaha. I think this is my new favorite post. Hahaha thanks for the laughs!!

    Liked by 1 person

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