PRESTON, Idaho — "I read the fetchin' Book of Mormon, and dang it all to heck, it's freakin' true."
KENNEWICK, Wa. - Newly-released Bishop Garth Shumway of Kennewick Central Ward is growing a beard, sources say.
SCRANTON, Penn. - A local emeritus deacon's quorum president is accused of having forgotten his assignment to speak in church today, allegedly resulting in a quickly written talk by one of his parents this morning, sources say.
PRICE, Utah - To the general membership of Clearwater 1st Ward, Bishop Charles Stanley is all smiles - but when his kids are misbehaving during Sacrament Meeting that Mona Lisa smile takes on a double-meaning that is not to be ignored.
LONDON - Logic, common sense and science all suggest that Elder Gene Hardy, 73, and Sister Sheila Hardy, 71, should have been killed in any number of ways months ago. At least, that's what recent convert Brian Shephard says.
SAINT GEORGE, Utah – Brother Dennis Miller, 48, of the Casablanca 1st Ward dropped all pretense during Sunday’s testimony meeting and simply started reading from his 953-page self-published autobiography.
SPRINGVILLE, Utah - Members of the Springville 1st Ward Gospel Doctrine class avoided eye contact with instructor Carolyn Peters for an entire three days after Sister Peters called for a volunteer to say closing prayer.
BOULDER, Colo. - Members of Mountain Crest Ward seated within a 40-foot radius of Brother Gary Yates pretended not to hear him snoring throughout Sacrament Meeting on Sunday, sources say.
OREM, Utah - For the third consecutive month this year the upcoming Nampa YSA 1st Ward Break-the-Fast will feature a lavish potato bar.