Area Man Does Everything in his Power to Not Remember Upcoming Fast Sunday
OREM, Utah – In a conscious effort to subconsciously avoid having to fast, area man …
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Category: Church Meetings
Chorister Runs Out of Obscure Hymns for Sac. Mtg., Resorts to 1908 Hymnal
PENDLETON, Ore. – After 15 years of choosing the most obscure, melodically confusing and unsingable hymns for Sacrament Meeting, Sister Ruth Hedges, 64, has finally started choosing hymns from her grandmother’s 1908 hymnal, Songs of Zion.
Area Sister Translated After Record Breaking 37-Minute Closing Prayer
NASHVILLE, Tenn. – An area woman is rumored to have been translated Sunday 19th February after a series of viral tweets report she simply disappeared from the pulpit during a record-breaking 37-minute-long-and-still-going prayer.
Aspiring Singer Uses Megaphone During Hymns, Just in Case You Couldn’t Hear Her Before
PORTLAND, Ore – Members of the Sandbutte Ward are still singing praises to one sister who, to everyone’s utter enjoyment, officially sings louder than the rest of the congregation combined.
Congregation Forges Golden Calf After Lengthy High Priest Talk
LOGAN, Utah – Multiple sources report that members of the Logan 127th Ward pooled their metallic accessories and forged a golden calf over a blazing, pew-fed fire.
Local Bishop Grateful to Self for Opportunity to Speak
“But as I began to prepare what I wanted to say to you today I realized that the person who most needs this talk is me,” he said.
