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The Sunday Pews

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Elder’s Quorum

‘Uh Sorry, Where Are We?’ Says Brother in Gospel Doctrine When Asked to Read

NEPHI, Utah—An 11-readers-long scripture snake was abruptly halted today after one brother was caught "off-guard" when it came to his turn to read.

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Church Announces New Home Teaching ‘Rollover Visits’ Policy

Similar to 'rollover minutes' in many cell phone plans, 'rollover visits' allow Quorum members to accumulate visits completed within the same month and apply them to Home Teaching reports in future months.

YSA Elders Quorum President Inspired to Assign Himself to Home Teach Most Attractive Sisters

Backlash from the rest of the quorum has been severe. The Elders have denounced the decision, calling it "contrived, selfish and just totally not cool".

YSA Break-the-Fast is Potato Bar Again, Members Stay Positive

OREM, Utah - For the third consecutive month this year the upcoming Nampa YSA 1st Ward Break-the-Fast will feature a lavish potato bar.

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