Search

The Sunday Pews

Category

LDS Pews

Sac. Mtg. Speaker Tests Bishop’s Patience With Slew of Alternative Swear Words

PRESTON, Idaho — "I read the fetchin' Book of Mormon, and dang it all to heck, it's freakin' true."

Advertisements

Local Youth Annihilates Candy Crush Record During Stake Dance

UMATILLA, Ore. - Newly ordained Priest Timothy Sterling, or as his fellow quorum members refer to him, "The GOAT", totally smashed his Candy Crush record during Saturday night's stake dance, sources say.

POLL: Does This Beard-Growing Newly-Released Bishop Still Have a Testimony?

KENNEWICK, Wa. - Newly-released Bishop Garth Shumway of Kennewick Central Ward is growing a beard, sources say.

Parents Accused of Quickly Writing Forgetful Son’s Talk Early Sunday Morning

SCRANTON, Penn. - A local emeritus deacon's quorum president is accused of having forgotten his assignment to speak in church today, allegedly resulting in a quickly written talk by one of his parents this morning, sources say.

Local Brother “Wasn’t Planning on Bearing His Testimony Today”

While members agree that it’s not their place to judge, they say their exasperation fell under the category of righteous judgement as the brother read the words “I wasn’t planning on bearing my testimony today” from a printed sheet of paper he took from his pocket at the pulpit.

REVIEW: Deseret Bookshelf Plus – the Best Way to Read Those 374 Gospel Books You’ve Been Meaning to Take a Look at but Haven’t Because You’re Freakin’ Busy All the Time

This post is technically sponsored, but at least it’s not for candles, lipstick or facial cleansers. You’re welcome.

Local Mom Proud, Relieved After Earning Son’s Eagle Scout Rank for Him

OMAHA, Neb - After years of blood, sweat and knots, 46-year-old Dana Peters has finally earned her 17¾-year-old son's Eagle Scout award.

Carpet Cleaners Mistakenly Wash Meetinghouse Walls

UTAH COUNTY - Sources report that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is currently facing a multi-million dollar carpet maintenance bill after a local cleaning company erroneously washed the carpeted floors and carpeted walls of every meetinghouse in Utah County.

Church Announces New Primary Session of General Conference

SALT LAKE CITY - A spokesman from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today the addition of a new session of General Conference specific to Primary-aged children.

Featured post

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: