PRESTON, Idaho — "I read the fetchin' Book of Mormon, and dang it all to heck, it's freakin' true."
UMATILLA, Ore. - Newly ordained Priest Timothy Sterling, or as his fellow quorum members refer to him, "The GOAT", totally smashed his Candy Crush record during Saturday night's stake dance, sources say.
KENNEWICK, Wa. - Newly-released Bishop Garth Shumway of Kennewick Central Ward is growing a beard, sources say.
SCRANTON, Penn. - A local emeritus deacon's quorum president is accused of having forgotten his assignment to speak in church today, allegedly resulting in a quickly written talk by one of his parents this morning, sources say.
While members agree that it’s not their place to judge, they say their exasperation fell under the category of righteous judgement as the brother read the words “I wasn’t planning on bearing my testimony today” from a printed sheet of paper he took from his pocket at the pulpit.
This post is technically sponsored, but at least it’s not for candles, lipstick or facial cleansers. You’re welcome.
OMAHA, Neb - After years of blood, sweat and knots, 46-year-old Dana Peters has finally earned her 17¾-year-old son's Eagle Scout award.
UTAH COUNTY - Sources report that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is currently facing a multi-million dollar carpet maintenance bill after a local cleaning company erroneously washed the carpeted floors and carpeted walls of every meetinghouse in Utah County.
SALT LAKE CITY - A spokesman from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today the addition of a new session of General Conference specific to Primary-aged children.