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The Sunday Pews

Local Brother “Wasn’t Planning on Bearing His Testimony Today”

While members agree that it’s not their place to judge, they say their exasperation fell under the category of righteous judgement as the brother read the words “I wasn’t planning on bearing my testimony today” from a printed sheet of paper he took from his pocket at the pulpit.

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REVIEW: Deseret Bookshelf Plus – the Best Way to Read Those 374 Gospel Books You’ve Been Meaning to Take a Look at but Haven’t Because You’re Freakin’ Busy All the Time

This post is technically sponsored, but at least it’s not for candles, lipstick or facial cleansers. You’re welcome.

Local Mom Proud, Relieved After Earning Son’s Eagle Scout Rank for Him

OMAHA, Neb - After years of blood, sweat and knots, 46-year-old Dana Peters has finally earned her 17¾-year-old son's Eagle Scout award.

Carpet Cleaners Mistakenly Wash Meetinghouse Walls

UTAH COUNTY - Sources report that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is currently facing a multi-million dollar carpet maintenance bill after a local cleaning company erroneously washed the carpeted floors and carpeted walls of every meetinghouse in Utah County.

Church Announces New Primary Session of General Conference

SALT LAKE CITY - A spokesman from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today the addition of a new session of General Conference specific to Primary-aged children.

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Bishop Silences His Irreverent Kids With Intense Smile From the Stand

PRICE, Utah - To the general membership of Clearwater 1st Ward, Bishop Charles Stanley is all smiles - but when his kids are misbehaving during Sacrament Meeting that Mona Lisa smile takes on a double-meaning that is not to be ignored.

Utahns to be Chastened With 40 Years of Road Work

"It's a nightmare of biblical proportions. Traffic, early-morning noise, chaos and destruction everywhere. Send the flies. Send the frogs. Send the Jehovah's Witnesses for all I care - anything but construction. My testimony just can't handle it."

Church Announces New Home Teaching ‘Rollover Visits’ Policy

Similar to 'rollover minutes' in many cell phone plans, 'rollover visits' allow Quorum members to accumulate visits completed within the same month and apply them to Home Teaching reports in future months.

Local Teens Struggle to Get Mom Out of Bed for Early-Morning Seminary

LAYTON, Utah - To local teens Gary and Judy Youngston every morning is the same. They get up, brush their teeth, make their lunches and then confront the sleeping giant - Mom.

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